As we mere simple peasants watch and witness the shenanigans of The World at large, some are asking if now is the right time to try something different.
As human beings, we have amassed vast numbers of years and experience concerning the running of nations. The problem as I see it, though, is one of 'tracks'. We and our leaders do things a certain way - we keep to the same tracks in the same lanes. We do this for two very important reasons. Firstly: It’s the way things have always been done. Secondly: It’s our nature, because of evolution or whatever.
Now, of course, we have learned to finesse our actions over the centuries. For instance, Brutus and his crew literally stabbed Caesar in the back when they wanted rid! Modern political maneuverers now only do that in a metaphorical sense. Well... eighty percent metaphorical, twenty percent literal. Still an improvement over time, though. But is it enough? Perhaps now is the time to do away with the literal/metaphorical treachery distinction and attempt a radical change.
Once you accept that there are issues, the next logical step is to entertain the idea of super-massive radical big ballsy change and then ask a very simple question. A question that literally a couple of people are asking...
Is it time for cartoon cats to be given the chance? A chance to right The World? A chance to become our exalted leaders? Our Presidents? Our Prime Ministers!?
Let’s have a mooch through the potential pros and cons of this most ambitious of ideas.
First: The Pro’s.
Rational Caution: Cats Are Cautious by Nature and Cartoon Cats Are No Different.
To begin with, our cartoon cat leaders will make considered defensive movements with much eye-squinting and rapid head-movements. This is good: no-one knows the intentions of the other leaders, so it’s only proper to gauge strengths and weaknesses before serious dialogue is attempted. After a while, however, these cartoon felines will become comfortable in each-others company and fully aware that any sudden change in attitude will immediately be spotted, leaving very little room for treachery. This is a good place from which to make trade deals and commitments to the reduction of non-recyclable cat-food packaging.
Dynamic Sleep Patterns: Twenty-Four Hour Readiness.
Compared to humans, cartoon cats are far more dynamic in the area of natural regeneration cycles. This is an obvious pro when it comes to sudden threats. A cartoon cat will always be ready, as they can go from fully asleep to totally awake in seconds.
A human President, though, for example, when woken at 3am with the new that ‘X’ country has launched all its nukes at us, may respond with such a response like: C’mon man! it’s 3am! Let me have another solid six hours of undisturbed sleep and I’ll deal with it in the morning. I’ll be up early, anyway, to take the trash out. Was gonna do it tonight, but that Eastern European president dude called and I couldn’t get off the phone.
Strategic Natural Grooming: Inspiring Confidence Among the Populous.
No longer shall an attentive people horror-cringe at a Prime Minister’s ill fitting skirt, questionable hair style, or utterly vacant expression. Our new cartoon cat leaders will take care of their appearance and cleanliness. Not just out of some mis-guided attempt to convince the voting public of some outer example of inner competence, but of a true natural classic nature separated from fussy, ill-advised junior ministers who place far too much emphasis on short-lived trends.
Second: The Cons.
Security Issues:
Let’s be real - cartoon cats are easily distracted. What if a rogue nation decides one fine and sunny day to build a huge laser pen? Well, one might imagine our esteemed cartoon cat President or Prime Minister rendered useless during a dangerous phase as it chases the laser around the floor and wall. And all this as the evil chuckles of numerous rogue nation leaders echo around a world teetering on the edge of destruction!
Random Acts of Roaming.
Humans tend to remain in predictable places. This is a good thing in a crisis when our leaders need to be consulted regarding potential courses of action. Cats? One minute they are snoozing on the couch, and the next minute?
Cats like to go roaming and they don’t always respect national borders. This could obviously cause various diplomatic incidents. Closer to home, however, it hardly inspires confidence among the people when they hear the lady in the next house hanging out of her window calling Tiddles! Smudge! Prime Minister!
Other Potential Problems: A Question of Stability.
There are many other issues that may cause us to ponder the suitability of cartoon cats to inspire and manage our respective nations. Could Air Force One become mechanically compromised because of excessive cat hairs interfering with vital systems? Could The Prime Minister become crazed whilst attempting to catch the immeasurable number of rats swaggering around the Victorian streets of London? Could a feline President of France use his or her razor-sharp claws to massacre the poor, innocent, and un-biased journalists of the nation in the name of defending the honour of the government of The Fifth Republic?
Conclusion?
To reach a confident decision, all these pros, cons, and questions will require serious thought. There will need to be focus-groups, polling, and news channels stopping random people on the street with questions carefully worded in order to illicit the correct answers.
However, if you’re asking me that question, then I can only reply with another...
What about cartoon squirrels?
Cartoon Cats... Good as World Leaders?
Yeah, Sure. Can't be any worse than what we've already got.
I reserve judgement until I see the pussies in question
No, I'm a cartoon dog person.
No, the press conferences will be too weird.
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