Technology is a weird thing. It starts out ridiculously simple and works well. Certainly, in a simple form, it is limited. But you’re aware of this and accept the limitations. Therefore, no frustration ensues. Then later, it has grown in scope and now encompasses a thousand different things, ninety-nine percent of which you will never use. It's actually brilliant in lots of ways, but guess what? It crashes, it breaks, the connection is lost; the connection is bad; the thing works perfectly but the other things it interacts with in order to work are not working, so now it’s not working. And before you know it, you’ve smashed in the TV screen and begin sending hate-mail to company executives who don’t use their own wonderful products and therefore know nothing of how shite said wonderful products actually are. However, this is all fairly irrelevant to the article, so I’ll move swiftly on.
It’s The Future. Technology Works. What Do We Do With It?
Maybe you could try living in it? No, I don’t mean some Matrix style world where it’s all rain and long black leather jackets and being killed and stuff. I mean, a world where living... is learning!
Enter The Jeffry.
Jeffry Botson is a twenty-first century guy. He lives in the year 2052 in a village that used to be called Upper Poppleston Spa... but that is now named MegaGulag One/Seven/Two.
Now, Jeff works for Schtarmler MegaCorp - a customer facing sustainability focussed local family business specialising in hair care products and is dedicated to raising awareness of suffering among the unhappy elite controlling dynasty who live in Paradise-Cloud One. Jeff hasn’t been too happy recently, though. He loves working for Schtarmler MegaCorp, but he’s really worried about those suffering elites.
A Genius is a Genius is a Genius!
Meanwhile, a consumer-citizen secretly and illegally operating as an individual and known only in certain circles by the codename: LeeLooSimp772, is working on something that he hopes will have far-reaching effects on the brainwashed populous of MegaGulag One/Seven/Two. All he needs is a willing participant who is completely unwilling.
Watching the approved news one day, LeeLooSimp772 finds what he’s looking for. Jeff Botson, a local man, is interviewed by Official Un-biased News Service Network Two/Eight/Nine. Jeff is organising a charity event with all funds going to The Elite Cloud Management Foundation. LeeLooSimp772 scoffs and plans an action plan of action. He then reaches for his specially-constructed un-trackable communication device.
You’ve Won First Prize in an Idiot Competition!
Answering the call, Jeff is excited to learn of his random win! The twenty thousand earth credit prize will go a long way towards upgrading the deluxe swimming pool of his unhappy boss: Wade Schtarmler. Anyway, hilarity ensues, and Jeff finds himself strapped to a vintage leather office chair by some cool vintage posters in LeeLooSimp772's filthy apartment.
“What’s this?” says Jeff, his eyes spinning around in their sockets and noticing all the wires.
“Well,” says LeeLooSimp772, “they’re wires going from my insanely powerful computer system all the way up into your brain. I hope you don’t mind. I shaved some hair off the top of your head.”
Entering the Constructed World.
Jeff now finds himself in another world. But it’s not like his usual one, this one is entirely cartoon in nature. Suddenly he finds himself befriending cartoon cats and dogs, squirrels, and even a giraffe drops by to do a few magic tricks. It is entirely lovely and full of interesting courses where much wonderful things can be learned. However, Jeff soon starts to question his old world. Why does he do what he does? Why does he feel... or rather, why did he feel how he felt? Jeff realises he had become brainwashed by the MegaGulag elites. He joins LeeLooSimp772 and forms a resistance movement named Guaranteed Prizes!
Years Later.
It takes a while, but LeeLooSimp772 and Jeff manage to kidnap all twelve billion inhabitants of MegaGulag One/Seven/Two and give them all a soul redeeming other life in the cartoon world. With so many people meeting cute cartoons animals, learning how to sew, and successfully change lightbulbs, they soon begin questioning the wisdom of the MegaGulag administrators. The MegaGulag soon falls from tyranny to something far more acceptable: a flawed democracy run by incompetent bumbling do-gooders.
The Final Happening.
With so many people living half their time in the real world and half their time in the cartoon world, LeeLooSimp772 thinks it would be an aboslutely top-banana of an idea to merge them into one. Fairly soon after this, LeeLooSimp772’s 'Whiskerverse' is born and everyone spends their days learning how to have as much fun as possible, and cross-stitch.
Jeff now spends his days in his beloved garden, drawing and re-drawing his surroundings as he sees fit and raising funds for LeeLooSimp772 and his ever-growing number of external hard drives.
It’s a paradise. Of course, now and then there’s a system crash and a few million people get glitched out of existence. But that’s technology for you...
Is The Cartoon Reality For You?
Yes, sign me up for experimental drugs and wise-talking cats
Yeah, but... I thought I was already in The Cartoon Reality?
Maybe, but depends on the theme tune.
No, The folks of Paradise-Cloud One urgently need our help!
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